I wrote this post the day my baby was born. But haven’t got around to sharing it until now. I planned on going back through and editing it in an attempt to make it ‘better’ but I’ve decided to leave it exactly as it is. Written under the influence of all the drugs and emotions…
I am currently sat up in my hospital bed, surrounded by bags of blood and blue wee. It’s 5th December 2018, 11pm and i have tried going to sleep. And although I am absolutely exhausted, i just can’t stop staring at my baby.
Let me start at the beginning..
Tuesday 4th December 2018, I arrived at the hospital by 8am for the planned c section that I was due to have that day. My anxiety levels became gradually higher as I was admitted to the ward. I am not a fan of blood or needles or pain. So why I thought this was a good idea I’ll never know. I had no sleep the night before. None at all. I was rushing around trying to make sure the house was clean and tidy, that the kids stuff was packed for the next day, and that I had everything I need for myself and Roo. Nevertheless, I was so ready to have this baby.
The maternity ward was absolutely crazy. There were babies being born left, right and centre. The labour ward had no beds. And they were shipping in extra midwives from the local(ish) birth centre to deal with the demand. I did not have a great feeling about this. But to cut a long story short, we were sent back home around 12pm and told to return the next day. There was quite literally no room at the inn and Although it was disappointing that I had to wait an extra 24 hours to meet my baby it was completely understandable.
The next day I woke up around 5:30am to the sound of my alarm, having had a full five hours sleep. The best night I’ve had In weeks! I was super refreshed, pumped and ready to go. We got the boys in the car and to my parents house by 7am, and arrived back at the hospital by 7:50. The ward was virtually empty, and the staff were really quick to get me admitted and prepped for surgery. The day seemed promising. I had planned everything out in my head in regard to the timing of everything. I was told I’d be going first so I expected Elliott to be able to go and pick up the boys from school and bring them to visit us by 4:30.
Before I knew it, it was 12:30pm and i was still sat in the maternity ward waiting for the lady who ended up going into theatre before me, to come out. I soon realised that Elliott would not be getting the boys from school lol.
At 1pm I waddled down to the labour ward ready for birth. The anaesthetist knew about my anxiety and needle phobia and was so lovely and reassuring. She put the venflon in my hand and it was the smoothest I’ve ever had it done lol. Elliott and I got our gowns on and walked down to the operating room. I have never simply walked into surgery before. I’ve always been wheeled in on a bed, screaming and thrashing around like some kind of loon. This was already such a different experience.
I felt like I was in there, pre-surgery, for quite a while but I think it was only around twenty minutes before they started administering the spinal. They had a feeling that I was going to need extra time on the table so instead of giving me just a spinal they gave me a spinal plus an epidural. So that when the spinal wore off i had the epidural there to keep me from feeling any pain. They left this to kick in for quite some time. It’s always a weird feeling letting anaesthetic take over you. The itching and shakes had started as a result of the drugs. I was wired up to so many machines too. It was strange being so aware of all this stuff this time. The curtain was put up so that I couldn’t see what was going on beyond my chest. Elliott sat next to me the whole time checking in on me and being reassuring. He is such a dream.
I started feeling really sleepy and could have easily just taken a nap, but everyone kept talking to me. The radio was on and people were so calm and sociable. The actual surgery began at 14:14 and it soon became clear that I would definitely be there a while. I had a lot of scar tissue from previous sections that they had to get through. And my bladder had become stuck to the top of my uterus somehow. Apparently it was a right old mess in there.
We asked if we could record the actual delivery part of the section which I thought they would say no to. But they totally didn’t! So when they were ready to pull him out they put the curtain down and gave ell the go ahead and he managed to film his actual birth. What an amazing 40seconds of footage that is! He was born at 14:34. It was truly incredible. After what seemed like quite a long minute, the midwife brought him round to me for some skin to skin. He is so perfect. He couldn’t open his eyes as he had so much vernix in them sealing them shut. We were told to just leave them and he’d become strong enough to do it. It was around 20 minutes later that he opened his first eye. Just as I was attempting to get him on the boob while being put back together. And his second eye opened about 15 minutes after that.
We didn’t leave theatre until around 4:15pm. It took a very long time for them to put me back together. They had to run some blue dye through my urine as they thought they had damaged my bladder (hence why my bag of wee is bright smurfy blue) we just spent the whole time loving on our new little human. I did start getting quite claustrophobic with a big sheet over my head, hands all inside my stomach, the wires everywhere and the blood pressure cuff was killing me going off every five minutes.
They finally finished around 4pm. It was such a long time, I was then wheeled off with my baby to a recovery room for a few hours. I forgot how much I hated the side effects of the spinal. I was so itchy and not being able to move my legs makes me feel so trapped. I was really grateful for the midwives who were in charge of my care while I was in that room they were both mega helpful. Elliott left around 4:30 to pick up the older three to bring them in for an hour. We were a bit sad that he didn’t get to spend much time with Roo while he was so new but I really wanted the kids to come in and meet him before they went to bed and things. They were so excited when they walked into the delivery room. Thomasjay had his first cuddle with him and didn’t get bored after five minutes like he usually does with babies, Elias wanted to constantly be touching him and feeding him, Isaac was more excited to see me to be fair lol but he did acknowledge the baby at least. I got them little gift bags as presents from the baby which they were super excited about.
they hung around for about half an hour before I had to send them packing. As much as I loved seeing them they just wanted to press every button, climb all over my recently sewn up body and spin around in the midwives swivel chair.
Around 6ish my right leg started coming back to life and my left lagged behind a bit later. I felt absolutely minging stuck to this plastic bed in a ripped up and bloody gown but there wasn’t a lot I could do about that. About 9ish the midwife helped me have some kind of wash and get my nice new Christmas nighty on which I was obviously extremely pleased about. I was then wheeled over to the ward. All my luggage at my feet and my new baby in my arms 😍
Now that’s where I am, just loving on my little human.