Did you know that if you are a person living in a fat body, there is a list of rules that you should be following? Rules that exist to give you the opportunity to be treated fairly, or even almost equally within society, of course providing you obey these rules. You’re probably aware of this, if only subconsciously. Maybe you’re even following them without realising. Ever take a pass on horizontal stripes? Choose baggy joggers for the gym over yoga pants? (Or leggings even- not sure why I thought I was American there) Do you order a salad with a little bit of grilled chicken when you really want a Big Mac With bacon? Then congratulations! You can sit with us. *insert eye roll here*
Let me let you in on a little secret, THESE RULES ARE NOT FOR US. When you wear a baggy shirt and long shorts to the beach in an attempt to keep your fat hidden away, you’re not doing it so that you don’t have to feel as self-conscious as you would do in a two piece, (well maybe you are but that’s not your fault, you’re only self conscious of your fat In the first place because you’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s a bad thing but I’m not getting worked up about that right now) you’re covering yourself up for the fatphobic people. The people who believe that to have a higher amount of body fat is shameful and disgusting. The people who are firm believers in the ideal body. So really, when we obey these rules with the expectation of experiencing equality with those people who live in thin bodies, we are just setting ourselves up for failure. For starters thin people can wear, eat and do whatever they want, they don’t really have any rules; so for us to conform to the defining characteristics of a fat person in a bid for equality is just a major contradiction. We follow these rules to receive fairness but there are body types out there living their lives rule-free, where is the fairness in that?
I’ve always had the type of personality that resists obedience. I mean You could loosely translate that to Im a massive pain in the ass but whatever. So I was thinking about how I’ve spent the majority of my life doing the opposite of what people have told me to do, people who love me and actually give at least a little bit of crap for my welfare, but at the same time I’ve followed all the rules given to me about how to dress, eat and move my body according to its appearance. Rules that were given to me by who? Seriously, who? Who decided that fat people couldn’t wear bodycon? Patterns? Bright colours? Leggings? Booty shorts? Bikinis? Crop tops? Who decided that fat people should only be eating low-calorie, ‘healthful’ foods? Who decided that fat people shouldn’t eat in public? Who decided that fat people couldn’t jump in pools? Who decided that fat people couldn’t ride bikes? Who decided that fat people shouldn’t dance on tables? Who?! Who the hell is the person cause I’m pretty sure that whoever it is doesn’t give two flying pigs about my wellbeing.
So why are we still allowing ourselves to be restricted by their rules?
One of my biggest (and I think pretty much most mums, and even non child bearing women’s) insecurities is my stomach. I’ve had three c sections and so my stomach loves to chill out in a hanging fashion over my scar. I’ve always made sure to wear longer tops, or even a longer vest under my top to hide it. Although come on, we can clearly see that it’s there. I love my high waisted jeans, and I love how it looks on other people who wear crop tops with their high waisted skinnies or have their tops tucked into them. Have I ever done this even though I love it? That’s a no from me. Just because fat people shouldn’t let their fat be visible.
I made a decision recently that I was no longer going to live with such restrictions and you know what I did? I put on the bloody jeans and tucked my top in, i threw some heels with it and danced my fatself happy to a bit of proud Mary. Do you know what happened? Nothing. Nobody died and The world didn’t come to and end. The most negative outcome of this event was my achy feet the next morning. We can be fat and sad, or we can be fat and happy, and I know that I’m not happy when I live by other people’s rules. And I’m pretty sure that you aren’t either. So wear, eat and be whatever the hell you want. If you offend people, then that’s quite literally their problem. You aren’t here on this earth to be pleasing to the eyes of others. There is so much more in store for you 💛